When we finish work, often the last thing we want to do is do more of the same thing, only out of hours and without pay. When you’re a cam girl looking for love though, your work skills can come in handy.
Cam girls are women who earn a living on the internet via webcams and chat rooms, and who can offer companionship as well as provocative and sexual online interactions in exchange for money, either through a group chat or in one-to-one sessions.
Lola Rose, from Reading, UK, started working in the profession two years ago after leaving her job in recruitment due to depression and anxiety. Now, she can’t imagine doing anything else.
Before taking up a job behind the camera, the 29-year-old was struggling so much she attempted to take her own life, after which she was off work for six months. During that time, she searched for ways to earn money from home and came across webcam work.
As a cam girl, Lola is in charge of her own schedule, and she loves the job so much that ‘every day feels like the weekend.’ Her work gives her a great amount of confidence but, in spite of its upsides, she still regularly feels negatively judged for what she does.
Lola told :
I see people constantly put down sex workers, calling us stupid and unemployable. I see men slate women in the industry for showing their bodies for a living.
I think if you have it, why not make money from flaunting it?
Lola, who is managed by Off The Record Cam Model, pointed out that a lot of people show off their bodies on social media without being subject to criticism, so there is no good reason why cam girls who make money by doing the same thing should face judgement.
I think sex workers are smart for using their attributes to make a lot of money. It’s one of the few industries in which women make more money than their male counterparts.
As Lola has known men to ‘slate’ cam girls, and because of the unfair stigma surrounding the industry, it’s easy to understand why the dating scene might be tough for women who work online.
Lola explained that her date ‘may feel differently’ about her profession than she does, and in order for the relationship to continue her partner would have to be okay with other people paying to interact with Lola in what can be a sexual manner.
In an effort to make sure she doesn’t enter into a relationship under false pretences, Lola always reveals her profession ‘very early on’ when dating, allowing her date the chance to ‘accept it or walk away’.
The cam girl has found that people aren’t always surprised by what she does, with dates claiming they could ‘tell’ she was in that line of work due to her confidence and openness.
Once Lola knows she’s on the same page as her date, the pair can continue their relationship without secrets, and Lola has found that working as a cam girl has given her a useful talent when it comes to working out what she can expect from a man.
Since working on webcam I have found that I can work out the men I date more quickly. When chatting, I can tell the ones that are after a fling and the ones that are looking for love.
This comes from working out what my customers want on cam.
Though her skills come in handy for dates, Lola stressed there is a big difference between dating in real life and working through a webcam.
When she’s on camera, Lola is left having to imagine what her companion looks like, as not many of them enjoy using their own webcams when interacting with her; a decision which may be down to the fact that many people use Lola as a way to help ‘escape reality.’
The 29-year-old commented:
Online you can be anyone you like, and with webcam you won’t be judged for talking about what you enjoy. I chat away to some men for hours at a time or even daily. It’s not always sexual.
My favourite thing to do on webcam is role play. I enjoy the acting side of it.
Lola is also in charge of having to impress the customer and meet their needs when she’s working, because they’re paying for her to do so. In real life, Lola is able to be herself with the knowledge that she doesn’t owe her date anything.
When dating in real life, the chap usually wants to impress.
Like any job, working as a cam girl has its downsides, and Lola admits it can be a struggle when it gets ‘repetitive’. She hears lines like ‘give me a twirl’ and ‘hey baby’ over and over again, and gets tired when she has to repeatedly turn down the requests she isn’t comfortable with.
Lola sometimes finds herself having to entertain people she ‘wouldn’t have time for in real life’, but she still adores her work and the skills it has given her.
The 29-year-old advised other cam girls looking for love to always be honest about the work from the start of a relationship, and pointed out that not everyone will be comfortable with the idea of their partner showing off their body online.
Lola encouraged women to find someone who is accepting of the job, and revealed that her current partner is incredibly encouraging and makes her feel comfortable in her own skin.
She added: ‘[They are] happy when I’m happy and this is something I love doing. Always be yourself and you’ll attract someone with the same values and heart as yours.’
Customers might see cam girls as people who are solely there for their entertainment, but it’s clear the skills and qualities the women develop through the work can have a big influence on their everyday lives.
Ultimately, the work can benefit the interactions they aren’t being paid for, and help them find the right person to share every part of themselves with, including their lives both on and off the camera.